The Bill of No-Rights of The United States of America

Non-Rights 1-10 to
The Constitution of the United States of America

Originally written by Libertarian writer and former U.S. Senate candidate Lewis Napper.
A copy of the original version is available here among other places around the NET.
This verison has minor punctuation, grammar and formatting changes from the original.

I replaced Article VIII with a more generic non-right
without seeking permission from Lewis Napper.
This verison is, therefore, in violation of copyright.


We, the sensible of the United States, in an attempt to help everyone get along, restore some semblance of justice, avoid any more riots, keep our nation safe, promote positive behavior and secure the blessings of debt-free liberty to ourselves and our great-great-great grandchildren, hereby try one more time to ordain and establish some common sense guidelines for the terminally whiny, guilt-ridden delusional, and other liberal, commie, pinko bedwetters.

We hold these truths to be self-evident, that a whole lot of people were confused by the Bill of Rights and are so dim that they require a Bill of No Rights.


You do not have the right to a new car, big-screen color TV or any other form of wealth.

More power to you if you can legally acquire them, but no one is guaranteeing anything.


You do not have the right to never be offended.

This country is based on freedom, and that means freedom for everyone -- not just you! You may leave the room, turn the channel, express a different opinion, etc., but the world is full of idiots, and probably always will be.


You do not have the right to be free from harm.

If you stick a screwdriver in your eye, learn to be more careful, do not expect the tool manufacturer to make you and all of your relatives independently wealthy.


You do not have the right to free food and housing.

Americans are among the most charitable people to be found, and will gladly help anyone in need, but we are quickly growing weary of subsidizing generation after generation of professional couch potatoes who achieve nothing more than the creation of another generation of professional couch potatoes.


You do not have the right to free health care.

That would be nice, but from the looks of public housing, we're just not interested in public health care.


You do not have the right to physically harm other people.

If you kidnap, rape, intentionally maim or kill someone, don't be surprised if the rest of us get together and kill you.


You do not have the right to the possessions of others.

If you rob, cheat, or coerce away the goods or services of other citizens, don't be surprised if the rest of us get together and lock you away in a place where you still won't have the right to a big-screen color TV or a life of leisure.


You do not have the right to infringe on the rights of others.

If you prevent someone from excersizing their actual rights, (see: Bill of Rights and the Other Amendments) do not be surprised at getting fined, or arrested, or otherwise getting (metaphorically) slapped up side the head for being a jerk.


You do not have the right to a job.

All of us sure want you to have one, and will gladly help you along in hard times, but we expect you to take advantage of the opportunities in education and vocational training laid before you to make yourself useful.


You do not have the right to happiness.

Being an American means that you have the right to pursue happiness -- which, by the way, is a lot easier if you are unencumbered by an overabundance of idiotic laws created by those around you who were confused by the Bill of Rights.

[Important Government Documents (index)]
[Summary of Documents]
[The Declaration of Independence]
[Articles of Confederation]
[The Constitution]
[The Bill of Rights]
[Amendments 11-27]
[The Bill of No-Rights]